Miles Turns FIVE!
My goodness, this kid is five and in school! In my head, he would be going to Ms. Janet’s forever!
This is been a rollercoaster of a year with Miles, but I’m grateful for where we’re at as we approach his 5th birthday. Before I delve into that rollercoaster of a year, I’ll start by sharing some of the basics.
The law in Nevada for students to start kindergarten is that students must be five years old by August 1st. Because Miles’s birthday is about seven weeks after that, he would not have been eligible to start kinder this year; however, we are thrilled he gets to spend a year in preschool. Miles is part of a Typical Peer Preschool Program at May Elementary School this year. It is the same program, with the same teacher, that Ella attended two years ago. Miles is a typical peer in a classroom of atypical peers; he is supposed to model good behavior for his autistic peers. I could not have imagined a better start to his school year; he is making friends, making good decisions, and racking up the Dojo points from his teacher. We are incredibly proud of him! (He even got bit by a classmate and stayed calm (no yelling) and told his teacher. While Miles continues to argue, whine, and play the annoying little brother role so well at home, he is an exemplary student at school and for that, we are thankful.
Miles loves Legos, swimming, movies, wrestling, and math. He has an exceptional brain when it comes to counting, addition, and multiplication. Just the other day he was figuring out what 24 + 24 was and thinking out loud, he said, “Well 20 + 20 is 40 and 4 + 4 is 8 so then it’s 48.” He is very quick to answer math questions.
He continues to enjoy cooking/baking in the kitchen. Superheroes are still his favorite; he has a knack for finding random, small objects outside (think screws) and collecting them in his treasure box. His art skills are awesome and if he takes his time, he can create some pretty cool monster trucks or pyramids.
His favorite foods are typical kid classics; macaroni and cheese, pizza, and pancakes, however, he is getting better at exploring new foods. He enjoys playing hockey, especially goalie, in the backyard. His favorite chore is brushing his teeth; his least favorite chore is putting laundry away. He falls asleep easily, but oftentimes comes into our bed in the middle of the night. He is sweet and tender with little kids, but wrestles like The Hulk with Ella and me. He is finally letting me tickle him more (he used to say it was off limits…taking away one of the most joyful things of being a parent). We purchased a used quad a couple of months ago and Miles has become quite skilled at driving it; even by himself!
He plays so well with Maxton and has made new friends (Michael Jay and Maverick) in his preschool class. At times, he is impatient, demanding, and argumentative. Whereas Ella enjoys her alone time, Miles prefers to have someone close by. When asked what his favorite thing about Ella is, he said, “That she helps me.” He absolutely knows what the right thing to do is, but his big emotions oftentimes remind us that he is fits that stereotypical “boys mature later than girls” mold.
Now, on to the rollercoaster part. I had a lot of fear and worry a few months ago regarding Miles’s behavior. He seemed to be getting angrier and more aggressive than a typical four year old boy. All of this happened at the start of our summer vacation. When I look back at this time, I wasn’t sure if he would be a good fit for his preschool program, if he needed to be evaluated by a professional, or if I was always walk on eggshells around him. I don’t know what to attribute his sudden regression in behavior to at that time; he was always defiant and whiny, but this was a whole new level. After a month of what seemed to be a regression in behavior, Miles slowly seemed to get better; his outbursts were less frequent and less intense. Again, what contributed to the improvement? Scott and I remained consistent in our expectations, I read books, I joined online support groups, and I prayed (more than I’ve prayed in a long time). As of now, I don’t know what changed. I don’t know why he regressed and then improved over the course of two months. Was it the scary transition from Janet’s to school? Was it normal brain development of a four year old? Regardless, I’m forever grateful that we have (knock on wood) made it out the other side. I type this with all the respect and admiration for any parent navigating a life with a child with special needs, especially those with oppositional defiance disorder (which is what I thought Miles might have). My heart breaks for those kids and for their families; we lived a glimpse of that life and I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.
While I say, we made it ‘out the other side,’ Miles still doesn’t want to act the first time we ask him to do something; he still chooses to annoy his sister on purpose and he still demands an enormous amount of attention; however, we do not believe his behaviors are any more attention/power seeking than another kid his age. All the while, Miles is still shy and easily embarrassed, but also willing to ask his teacher for Class Dojo points. He is impatient. He is brave. He is affectionate. He is intense. His excitement is contagious along with his smile. He is easily frustrated. He is passionate and wants others to be as passionate as he is. He loves to be silly, especially when he’s naked. He produces more gas than… whatever is the largest natural gas producing country in the world. I think making people laugh (or at least trying to) is his love language.
Ella and Miles are incredibly different. We know it, they know it, it’s obvious. I look forward to them growing and learning from each other. Miles has helped me learn that “the process is just as important as the product.” He is as forgiving and loving as he is frustrating. He makes me laugh as much as he makes me cringe. I genuinely look forward to who his sweet, smart, silly self grows up to be.